Moving into a senior boys' dorm at a co-ed New England preparatory school, I soon noticed vast behavioral differences among the students that I found hard to understand. In an environment of ivy-covered buildings, institutional goals of excellence and aspirations to Ivy League colleges, I observed that many girls worked themselves into a state of sleep deprivation and despair during exam period while the boys remained seemingly unconcerned and relaxed. I noticed that the girls felt the pressure to be “cute” and “perfect”, while the boys felt pressure to be “bad ass” and the “best at everything ... More

Moving into a senior boys' dorm at a co-ed New England preparatory school, I soon noticed vast behavioral differences among the students that I found hard to understand. In an environment of ivy-covered buildings, institutional goals of excellence and aspirations to Ivy League colleges, I observed that many girls worked themselves into a state of sleep deprivation and despair during exam period while the boys remained seemingly unconcerned and relaxed. I noticed that the girls felt the pressure to be “cute” and “perfect”, while the boys felt pressure to be “bad ass” and the “best at everything.” I learned that the boys thought that “it would suck” to be a girl and that one third of the girls would be male if given the chance. I noticed class and ethnic differences in how the students seemed to display their masculinity and femininity. From my vantage point of sitting in the back of the football and field-hockey buses, touring dorm rooms, listening to the words they used to describe each others' looks and sexuality, and listening to them discussing their academic and social pressures, competition, rumors, backstabbing, sex, and partying, I discovered that these boys and girls shared similar values, needs, and desires. Caught in the crossfire between cultural and institutional values of individuality, hierarchy and success, class and racial/ethnic differences, and society's expectations for gender appropriate behavior, these students faced conflicting pressures that affected both their social and academic success. This work provides insight into the costs of privilege as well as class, ethnic, and individual differences in the performance of gender. It reveals how the adolescent culture of this powerful group reflects and perpetuates larger cultural, institutional, class and ethnic values, gender ideals, and power structures, and ultimately exposes the underpinnings of the American character.